No really. I have Facebook, I have BT. Do I really need yet another outlet for my musings? This year. Yes. It's a year of big things, truly new beginnings. Without turning this post into a review of the past decade (we'll save that for another time) - I have the utmost freedom to pursue any and all things my heart desires. I do not have the constraints of years past - for the first time in my life my future is wide open. And for this reason I wanted a blog, to truly EXPLORE whatever it is that comes my way.
When I first had this realization (in May when I completed graduate school) it scared me. Literally scared me. I felt as if I had completed my life's timeline. I know, rediculous. I have always been a A, then B, then C type of person. So when I got to Z the "now what" was almost more than I could handle. Hanging in limbo is not something I do well. Now I realize, the uncertainty is beautiful. It is exciting. The unknown is not something to be feared, it is something to be embraced/ celebrated. Waking up each day to unpredictability is a gift - this blog is my journey in accepting this unpredictability.
What better way to test out one's fears of the unknown that embarking on Ironman. Each day being tested in a physical and emotional manner. Can I handle this? Will I make it? Will I be able to give it my all. For me, I use races more as a test of my capabilities in all aspects of WHO I am, not merely as a competition. I have learned more about myself in training and racing than I ever have elsewhere. The places my mind goes when I am pushed, when I am pushing myself. It is something I need, I crave, and has forced me to grow immensely. THAT is why I do this. It is my therapy. This blog will chronicle my journey. As training for an Ironman is not about May 1, 2010. It's about all of the day-to-day steps and growth to get there.
Western culture has things a little backwards right now. We think that if we had every comfort available to us, we'd be happy. We equate comfort with happiness. And now we're so comfortable we're miserable. There's no struggle in our lives. No sense of adventure. What I've found is that I'm never more alive than when I'm pushing and I'm in pain, and I'm struggling for high achievement, and in that struggle I think there's a magic. - Dean Karnazes
And lastly, life. Another thing I crave. I am not one to sit idly by and let life occur in front of me. Constantly seeking to suck every last ounce out of every moment. This life we are blessed with is beautiful, it is amazing, and I am so thankful for every single breath I take. I am relentlessly looking for new adventures, new discoveries so that I may learn and grow alongside those I love. My goal is happiness and fun...in things big and small.
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