Ironman St. George Race Report

I love that I get message on Face Book/ LJ asking me to update this, although I may not get many posts I do love that ya'll are reading along so I am happy to oblige! :) This is my race report from my training log so keep that in mind, not that I am too lazy to re-write one. But if anything doesn't make sense or references things pertinent to that, just bear with me. Keep in mind this was written so that people on a triathlon site could reference for the upcoming years to race IMSG and for future Ironman races, its kind of how BT is used - so it might seem weird, don't know. Mainly a stream of consciousness of what happened that day.

Pre-race routine:

Note 1 - This will get long, skip to swim bike run to skip pre-race activities and other non-day of thoughts.

Note 2 - I had nothing but an amazing time, positive thoughts and FUN. Did I have pain, and suffering? YES, and I will talk about that, but do not confuse that with not absolutely loving every second of this adventure.

Ironman Week - We arrived to St George on Monday the week before the race. My brother, his wife and my sister all came (from Philadelphia and San Francisco respectively). I was THRILLED to have supporters. We rented an AMAZING house (right on the bike course) with some of the most beautiful views. We would sit at the huge picture window and just hang out. I had not seen my brother and his wife (Jessica) in a year and a half! And my sister, despite being 15 weeks pregnant and not feeling so hot made the trip as well! The week was spent hiking in Zion, touring St George and eating copious amounts of food. It was a BLAST!

Wed - Registration was at the Dixie Center and it was so well organized and smooth. It was a pretty large expo. I bought a lot of Ironman stuff. Cannot say I was overly confident, I just liked it. And thought I could give it away if I had to. ;)

Fri - My dad surprised me and drove ALL the way from CA the day before to support, as did my brother-in-law. That was VERY COOL!

Bike check and day before race - was pretty stressful as the wind was GUSTING and the reservoir was white capped. I had felt GREAT all week and this was my confidence hit. It was COLD and VERY VERY VERY windy. Our bikes were blowing all over the racks and I had no desire to ever get in that water. That night I did not sleep AT ALL. Just being real, it crossed my mind to NOT race. I know. ME?! Miss no nerves, "I got this" had a minor melt down the night before. I did all my usual postive self talk and visualization routines and NONE of it was working. You see, I had ridden the course at the end of March in 30+ mph winds and knew if we were faced with that in the swim and on the bike course I was not going to make it. The month before the race was a major mental battle after the pre-ride. I did my best to stay confident, but knowing what I could face out there would get to me. The wind and hills made for some major mental demons at times. I have to admit, this race got in my head - bad. But, thats why I signed up for it. For the adventure, the journey and to truly test my limits. If I was going to do an Ironman I wanted it to beat me up, spit me out and see if I could still make it out alive. ;) I knew that, but at times, I didnt want that and the night before was one of those nights.

Saturday - Race Day - The alarm went off at 3:45 AM and I told Josh my feelings. If I could remember the pep talk he gave me I would record it and sell it. The words he said stuck with me all day. I jumped out of bed thinking "I CAN DO THIS" in fact, he made me say it, and I truly felt that way. I was happy, joyous and SUPER excited to begin the adventure of IMSG (although I gagged up my breakfast about 3-4 times). ;) I was calm, confident and ready to go.

Event warmup:

We got to T2 in downtown at about 0430. It was dark and cold but the Ironman atmosphere was already apparent. We stood in a long line for the bus to T1 but were on a bus in less than 5 minutes. ANDY was on our bus and I said HI! It was really fun to be with a group of all Ironman wannabes (or previous Ironmen) for the 20 minute ride out. No nerves. Got to T1 and prep began.

Pumped up tires and good kharma all around with loaning out the pump Josh brought. The only complaint of the whole day was the lack of porta potties. I get 'super awesome prize' ;) for running to the back of Sand Hollow Park and finding open bathrooms for Josh. We found an great group of people back there and while we waited in a short line (5 or so people) I got in my wetsuit. Calm, cool and collected. Once Josh had done his business we headed back to the swim start, 10 minutes to go. My warm up consisted of about 3 100 meter sprints back and forth that in the parking lot.

It was SO GOOD to see Elliot and Mirg from home in the morning. It felt like any other race. And I saw my family as we walked back. I was thrilled to have so much support!

Swim

Comments:

The talk of this swim was of how cold the water was. I purposely did not feel it the week before because I did not need anything else to worry about with this course. We got in line to get in the water and about 4 minutes before the cannon went off Josh and I entered the lake. WOW its a GORGEOUS setting for a swim. I was in awe. The difficulty of this couse is truly trumped by the beauty. As soon as Josh and I got in, we looked at eachother and agreed it was 'not that bad!' We had been swimming at Lake Saguaro since early March and were comfortable with 50+ water temps. This felt the same. It was fine. It took your breath away but was not an issue. The highlight of this swim was when Mike Reilly told the crowd to give us a cheer and it was SO LOUD from the water. The support, the entire day, was AMAZING. I didnt think there would be so many people at the swim start due to being bussed but it was PACKED! I loved it. Then something that stuck with me, he said "you WILL be Ironmen" and I said "yes I will." And I truly felt it.

Once the cannon went off I just did what I knew what to do, long smooth strokes. I loved the melee, and embraced it. The swim out was fantastic. It chopped up a bit on the way back. It was so cool sighting to the big rock island. There was a TON of buoys, I truly enjoyed every second of the swim and kept saying to myself "this is fun!" The water was clear enough to see bodies and feet so drafting was simple. I expended no energy. Got out of the water fresh! Loved it.

T1

Comments:

So this is where things got TOUGH. About 20+ people were pulled from the swim for hypothermia so the change tent people were VERY cautious of the health of those coming into T1. I didn't feel cold until I got into the tent and realized my hands were paralyzed. I call it "the claw" I couldn't move my fingers out of this weird cramped position. SO, in true AMAZING Utah volunteer fashion the change tent woman literally dressed me as I sat with a towel wrapped around me. Whoever she was I love her and I wanted to take her home with me. :) She literally put my bike gloves on finger by finger. I saw other volunteers rubbing the arms of women vigourously and holding them wrapped in towels to give body heat. It was amazing. I got my stuff on relatively quick and feeling pretty cold ran out of the tent, got sunscreened and found my bike. This is when I got a little whacked out. I saw a clock that said 1:47. I freaked a bit as I knew I was going to be close on bike cut offs as it was (duh this was the pro clock) everyone told me later that I looked upset coming out of T1...this was why! I was already doing math!

What would you do differently?:

Realize the pro clock was 15 minutes ahead!!!

Bike

Comments:

Ah the bike course. How many nights of sleep had I lost because of you? ;) My main concern was not enjoying this race because I was so concerned about making the cut offs (5 total), but I was in such good spirits that I decided to put my Garmin in my bento (where I couldn't see it) and just enjoy the ride. The day was so gorgeous, and I was having so much fun just doing an Ironman that I knew I would do what I could and no use in stressing.

0-22: From the swim to the bike loop turn. About 5 miles in is a large hill (this is where Andy passed me), I spun up it and enjoyed looking around and the amazing crowd support, as early as this was I knew I was feeling great and it would be a good day. This part also takes you on part of the run course, up another steep hill and I truly felt I would be seeing it later in the day, had fun talking to people on the hills and generally staying within myself.

22-68: Making the turn onto the loop was making the first cutoff, hey a small victory and I was going to take every little one I could get! I knew I was actually quite ahead of it and could just really enjoy myself. I had in the back of my mind that the wind could get VERY VERY nasty outside of Ivins and was a little antsy to get there and see how it was. Again, the crowd support was insane and the miles FLEW by. There was a good wind on 91 but I was with a lot of people and this felt good. Making the way out to Gunlock I didnt see white caps on the reservoir like I had last time, I kept saying in my head how blessed we were to have a day like we did, as I knew it could be so much worse. I knew we were getting close to 3 nasty hills now and as Eagle hill came into view I reverted to my old favorite "they can say whatever, I can do whatever, no pain is forever yep, you know this. Tougher than a lion, aint no need in trying, I live where the sky ends yep you know this." Because, you know - Rihanna has this Ironman thing DOWN! ;) Hey, I was having fun. No doubt, those hills SUCK. But it was doable...and I never disliked it. Shortly therafter is THE WALL and people were already walking it. I didnt, I RIDE bikes I don't WALK them ;) but I wasnt fast, again, lots of crowd support. I was STOKED to make it up as I knew it was smooth sailing from there on out. Alot of people say the hill out of Veyo is tough but I dont mind it. Ah. That was a good feeling. And not having a horrible headwind on the downhill had me hitting 40+mph into town. I hit the timing mat and was STOKED - another cutoff!

66-108: Relatively uneventful. I was still happy as could be. The wind picked up, I climbed slower, it hurt a little (lot) worse, but it was about the same as the first lap. My stomach wasnt loving things as much but I adjusted. I took on more bananas and abandoned my fig newtons. I knew I was going to make all of the cut offs and life was about as good as it could be.

109-112: As we came back into town I felt like a freaking rock star. I had about an hour to spare, I KNEW I was going to finish Ironman. I had NO DOUBT I was just so damn happy. I saw lots of people out on the run and I started slowing down looking for Josh. It had been almost 10 hours since I had seen him and I knew he would be DYING to know how I was doing, and then I SAW HIM! I was coming in off the bike and he was about 2 miles in on the run! He jumped up soo high and was so happy. It was by far the highlight of my day, I knew we were BOTH going to do it. What more could I ask for?

What would you do differently?:

Be stronger physically, otherwise nothing.

T2

Comments:

My family was right at the bike dismount line. They had "highlighter" color shirts that sais "Sportybot Crew" and carried signs of the like "Gaga Says GO GO GO" and "Dont Stop Make it Pop" I mean come on, how cool are these people? I was so damn happy when I saw them, I was cheering and jumping around. I then grabbed my T2 bag and went into the "Igloo" (AKA worlds largest change tent). I had another amazing volunteer who asked how I was and I said "I am GREAT I am just so hungry" and she said "OH we just had pizza delivered you want some?" HELL YES I WANT SOME! So she goes and gets me pizza, helps me out, and I move along.

What would you do differently?:

Nada...I like transitions in IM's.

Run

Comments:

So I take off running ever so slightly, this big slice of pizza in my hand. The streets are PACKED with people as the first 2 - 3 miles are downtown. EVERYONE is like "that girl has pizza?" I'd wave it around. Yeah. ;) It was pretty uphill so I walked a bit and ate my pizza. My heart rate was going crazy. I made it to the first aid station and used the restroom for the first time that day, yeah I NEVER got off the bike. That felt amazing to finally go pee. I grabbed a handful of cookies and kept walking. I decided then and there that I would be walking all uphills. I felt GREAT, was having a BLAST and just decided that would be my plan. There would be other Ironmans to go fast on and today was obviously not that day and this COURSE was obviously not that course. I PROMISED myself anything that was flat or downhill I would run. This course was brutal. The run climbed 3000 feet and the bike had just climbed 7000. I was pretty toast.

Again the volunteers were insane, the amount of people on that course was phenomenal and the entire vibe was like a PARTY out there. I was having too much fun to be doing an Ironman. Did I hurt? YES. I hurt BADLY, the hills on the bike took a major toll and the hills on the run were just MEAN. I wont even try to describe this run, but cruel pretty much describes it. I have to admit I saw Robin and Dean out there running it and was so impressed. To run those hills after the bike takes a ton of fitness - good on you!

What is great about Utah is it stays light until almost 9PM so I was only running in the dark for about 2 hours. I loved this. I also loved the out and back aspect as the athletes would support eachother and you would get the aid station support double time! I finally got to talk to Josh about 5 miles in and we both congratulated eachother, gave hugs and chatted a little. As I came back in from the first lap Elliot, Mirg and my whole family were there cheering. I was stoked to only have on more lap until I would become an Ironman! I headed back out confident it would take me about the same time. Lap 2 was pretty much the same, I saw Sanchez, Andy coming in to finish and Josh again. I could not believe he was headed in!!! That alone gave me so much motivation. I never once hit a low. Sure I had stomach pain, my legs hurt so much, it was so hard, but never once did I not love every second. Heading back in I took the last 6 miles to just reflect and be thankful for the journey.

I had ran with a gentleman for the last 6 miles but I fell back to just be alone for the last 2 miles and be in my own head to think about it all. What an adventure, what a day.

I made the turn and the streets were still lined with fans! All day long I was told how "inspirational" and how we were all "heroes" - St George LOVES their Ironmen and I was minutes away from becoming one. I felt numb, I really could not believe it. It's a long finishing chute and I slowed down to really soak it all in, the bright lights, the people, the kids, Elliot and Mirg, and then - Josh, my family. High fives, hugs. Arms up and a finish line. It could not have been a more perfect day.

What would you do differently?:

Not a damn thing.

Post race

Warm down:

My finish line catcher was amazing. He could not believe how happy and "perky" I was. I thanked him and told him how fantastic the people of Utah had been to us. He talked to me for a little while, got me my hat, shirt and had my picture taken. Walked me over the where my family was. I sat and chatted with them and then...left. I stayed up that night until after 1 just high on excitement. I never wanted the day to end!

Event comments:

If it's not already obvious I kind of loved this race. After months of dread, fear, etc. to come and experience it in this way, I could not have asked for anything more.

If you have not already check out the amazing pics Jess took of the week!

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2510839&id=6011113

"What happened to you?"

Ah, yes. Where did I go? And literally - what happened to me? A few questions I have gotten from some people. I am finally ready to answer.

I lost my sh*t. Sorry for the language but thats about as blatant as I can put it. You know, when I signed up for Ironman I thought the time was right. My endurance experience was pretty extensive and it was just the time to make the jump. No matter what situation Josh and I find ourselves in we always have some experience to fall back on:

- Years of 24 Hour Mtn biking racing

- Backcountry multi-day snowboarding trips

- Rockclimbing

- Backpacking

- Marathons

- Road Racing

- Triathlons

- Work

- School

- Life

It all makes sense when you are going to put your mind and body to the limit. I can always go to some place where I have felt pain, or fear and focus and get myself through the tough spots. I can always say "remeber that time when you were hanging upside down off a 100 foot cliff and had to get rescued? Yeah, this isn't as bad! Remember not making that clip on a climb and free falling? Yeah, you were fine! Remember carrying 40 pound packs up 10,000 feet? You got this!" life experience ALL COUNTS, it ALL helps when your mind needs to go somewhere else for a little while. And I always liked having this "filecabinet" of sorts or experience to draw from.

Until now the end of March. I was in new territory. I had trained my body to pure exhaustion and still, was no where near making a goal. I have to say I am pretty lucky in that I have not had to deal with a lot of failure. I either don't put myself out there for failure, or I am just really really blessed. But one incident in years of training really shook me and I honestly, almost did not recover. This was a huge mental hit for me - and I struggled to regain composure to race Ironman St. George.

I think it surprised everyone. I am quite active on the Arizona Beginner Triathlete boards, have a good amount of friends in the sport, and many additional friends and family that have been alongside many of these races and adventures. So when we went off to Utah for a weekend, and then literally went DARK for the next month or so - yeah - it was weird. I stopped logging on BT, I stopped writing in this blog, probably posted 10-20 cryptic status updates on FB about being lost, unmotivated, SCARED. I felt like I was in this fog - and no matter what I did, I couldn't shake it.

What happened?

You know, no matter how I explain it, it will not make sense, and it will sound pretty rediculous or pathetic. But for someone who hinges alot of confidence on her abilities, this was a real terrifying, eye opening experience. It all stemmed from convincing myself that I COULD NOT do something. No matter what, I could not shake this from myself. And I know, deep down, that the ability to DO something is so much more mental than physical. I lost my edge, like I said, I truly lost my sh*t. I felt everything spiraling out of control, myself, work, friends, family. I couldn't keep any of it together. And then, I stopped trying. And the days before Ironman became a countdown to DOOM. I went from being completely thrilled and excited to train and experience this race to being absolutely terrified...I could step outside of myself and see how irrational it was but I could not shake my experience that caused this and it stayed with me, every single day and in everything I did.

Friends were supportive, and provided a lot of good motivation and "you can do it" type encouragement. And I spent countless hours reading and meditating on getting my head right.

And then it was time to go. If I did not have my amazing family coming, I may not have gone. I always love that Josh and I choose difficult challenges in everything we do, but for the first time I questioned this "adventerous spirit" and longed for a life of quiet normalcy. One I had always HATED the thought of. An Ironman was bad enough, but this one? I just could not imagine myself going through it. I focused on the trip being about seeing family, and not my "impending doom" (Yes I often referred to this race as such).

The week leading up to IMSG was a BLAST! Being around my brothers and sisters (wifes and husbands count in that classification) was amazingly relaxing and I found myself not really thinking about the race for the first time in MONTHS!

And then, the night before. I did not sleep a single minute. I could not get the negativity out of my head, the fear, literally a terrifying fear. Not necessarily of not finishing, although that is what fed it for so long, but just putting myself out there. I could not FATHOM doing it, getting in the cold water, climbing those hills, PAIN and FEAR of not making cut offs for 10 or so hours. It wasn't that I worried about not being able to handle it, it was that I DID NOT WANT TO. I had spent so much time questioning WHY I was doing this...for what good? And like everything you do that is meaningful and perhaps, life altering, often times the reason does not come to you immediately.

In the morning I told Josh, I couldn't/ I wouldn't do it. I think my attitude the last month shocked the hell out of him. WHO was this person? Where did confident, fearless, conquer the world Jen go? It was a hard time. And this morning 3:45 AM on race day, I was no different.

Like I have told some people, if I could bottle the words he said to me that morning laying in the dark - I would and I would sell it for lots of money! ;) I just remember him telling me how much he believed in me. And how he KNEW I could do it, how I needed to SAY it and truly believe it. I did - and in that split second, for the first time in a month, I truly believed it.

It's all about believing in yourself - truly believing AND having other people who do as well. True support is the most amazing thing anyone can have. Without it, this race meant nothing to me. But having my family, and my husband have SO MUCH faith in me to accomplish (whether its an Ironman or ANY GOAL you have) it was an overwhelming feeling. I WANTED more than anything to make them proud. To show them their faith in me meant the world, and that I would not let them down.

And I didn't - because I didn't let myself down. The race was a celebration of overcoming a dark point in my life where I doubted myself. I am lucky to have people there to bring me up - and coming out on the other side - an Ironman finisher means that much more to me. I honestly could not have done it out there on my own.

You all truly were - my reason.